My husband and I just celebrated fifteen years of marriage. It feels like yesterday that we said, “I Do” and honestly, it still feels like we’re newlyweds. The reason why is we are still very affectionate and intimate with each other. I’m not saying that we have sex every day, but we never forget that we love each other by a simple kiss, holding hands or just acknowledge that we miss seeing each other during our busy workday.
I wanted to share my marriage because, in my series of Marriage and Relationships blogs, I believe that I have learned to appreciate my husband because I know that a bad marriage is easy to obtain. I don’t want to fool anyone to think that a little kissing and sexing will make a happy marriage, but the lack of affection can breakdown any marriage. I will definitely be discussing, in the series of blogs, how the lack of affection brings a whole lot of other marital problems… Some you don’t even know are there.
You know that feeling when you first start dating and you can’t wait to see each other?! It’s the best feeling in the world, isn’t it?! I say this because even in marriage, you hold on in your mind that feeling and how it made you have a better workday, or not care about the poor drive on your way back home from work. Unfortunately, over time we all get comfortable and move away from what made us feel so happy.
So, let’s get back on track… I want to share 16 ways to stay affectionate in your marriage
1. Say Hello and Give your spouse a kiss when you get up in the morning…Every Day!
In my house, I’m the one leaving really early so I make sure I kiss Keith before I go off to work, and he always kisses me when I get back home from work. Yea, he works from home!
2. Be a good listener. Like my daughter Joei says to me sometimes “Don’t listen to response, Mom”.
3. Snuggle. every chance you get
4. Make time for your spouse every day. I know it’s hard especially if you have young children but remember that’s how you got the kids. Let’s not change up once the kids get here… make sure you have time out the day allotted just for your spouse.
5. Give a little butt squeeze. That lets your spouse know you are attracted to them or maybe you want some sex. Feel free to grab other sensual parts, I do
6. Initiate sex. It is definitely ok Sister to start flames going. I know my husband really gets aroused. They also welcome the act, even if they may not want to have sex in an instant. Don’t feel rejected because occasional they may just not feel too horny.
7. Sext while you’re both at work. It will be a good night
8. Touch hands. Just spontaneously start holding his fingers while you are out at dinner out or driving in the car
9. Buy a little gift or make DIY gift periodically. Something you know he has been wanting (Keep it small though). Just a little something that shows your thinking about him.
10. Shower your spouse with compliments every day. Don’t be fake about it… compliment them on the little things. For example, loving dinner, their recommendation on a new TV show or book, or just saying you are so beautiful to me
11. Be crazy together! Run outside in the rain together nude, I’m playing… play games with each other so laughing together is your norm.
12. Always say “I love you” Several times a day to each other.
13. Do something different or new once a month. This can be incorporated in a date night.
14. Participate in their favorite pastime, even if you don’t like the pastime. It shows that you are selfless.
15. Be spontaneous! My favorite ONE!!! Have sex in a different place, like a park, the beach, or the car. Just like you did when you were dating!
16. Pray Together. There is no marriage without God. There is nothing more humbling than a praying man for his family.
I hope you find these 16 ways motivational. I say have fun with your spouse and discuss these ways, then start making it part of your daily lives. Marriage can feel like a job that you have to work hard at, BUT the rewards are priceless. I look forward to your feedback, and I hope you enjoyed!